Americans Watch Baseball

Happy Wednesday everyone! I hope everyone’s week is going well. It’s finally feeling like summer here in Indiana and my runs are suffering thanks to it.

I’m processing a WHOLE lot right now, so instead of drowning you all in thoughts, I’ll leave you with some images of what my life is right now. Side note: we were in Chicago this past weekend and it was wonderful. I do hope I can make it my home some day soon.

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We went up to celebrate this kid’s birthday. Did the same thing two years ago.

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Yep. Not so much has changed…

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We’re easily the most American people at the Cubs game.

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Strikes make sparks make fire.

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Rainer Maria Rilke

Small Wins are Still Wins

Remember those goals I set yesterday? About creating? Booyah – time found. I made desktop backgrounds for my computer. I was going to try to make purses out of the bottoms of pants I turned into shorts for K-bob (re: I cut them below the knee), but one look at the fabric and the realization that I have thread in blue and black (the pants are brown and again, let’s not talk about supplies) and I decided “well, you want to do more graphic design, baby steps, baby girl, baby steps.”

Lo and behold (it’s a parenthesis kind of day, is ‘lo’ even a proper word?), new desktop backgrounds. Heck, if I had a printer, you better believe I’d have printed these babies out and put them on the fridge fifth grade-style.

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(does the extra space hide how I couldn’t make them the same size on the blog, even though the pixels are the same? Thought so….)

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These images were shamelessly ripped from the Tumblr Oh Pioneer, by the way. That tumblr is the life I wish I led most of the time.

Anyway, accomplishments from last night include: reading, cutting my jog short knowing 12-ish miles await me in the morning, creating these backgrounds and not being a turbo freak on K-bob. Win? You’re always strong on day one. Come find me on day 41…

Up this weekend: volunteering at the Back on My Feet/Planet Adventure (really have no idea who is in control here) trail run Saturday.

To make: we have a TON of peaches. As in K-bob went half-sies with someone for like a million pounds (we have two King Soopers bags full) of peaches. I’mma make me some peach preserves. And eat chicken with peaches and basil. Yes, chicken. Meat. An animal. It happens.

Thankful for: my incredible friends and family (as always). Special love today to Jenny, Thompson, Blanket and Janellelephant. And of course K-bob. Look at that, recognized gratitude.

Your Thoughts Determine Your Destiny

Yesterday was the five-year anniversary of the loss of my best friend and sister. I stayed strong most day (and the night before), thinking about her and what she would think about my life now – what I’ve accomplished, how I’ve changed, the adventures I’ve had that she wanted to have as well. I think she would be proud of me.

I also think she would have hit me in the face quite a few times to keep me in check.

I cried over having to give up a bike that someone loaned to me. I cried about needing to pay for my car. I cried and was unfair with K-bob because I’m insecure and want him to make me secure. Lots of crying. Lots of reality-checking needed.

I’ve come to realize lately that I’m trying too hard to be too much. To be perfect. To be impressive. It’s wearing me out and I’m losing track of who I really am and what I really value. I value my family and friends. I value my health. I value creativity and the pursuit of knowledge. I value not being bat-shiz crazy.

This image/saying really caught me this morning. Your THOUGHTS are what dictate your happiness and your future. I’ve been allowing my thoughts to be absurd and untrue recently. They’ve been hurting me. They’ve changed from thoughts to irrational fears.

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I need to regain a balance of happy. To do that, I have set a few goals for the coming month/months. And what are goals without accountability? Well, that’s where you all come in. Get on my case if you see me being a slacker.

Goals this month:

Have New Experiences 

Whether it’s trying something new at a restaurant, attending a show I would normally pass on or trying a new activity (hello Stand Up Paddle boarding – you’ve been calling my name for months), I endeavor to try something new each week. Heck, simply checking out new music. That’s one – a new band a week.

Make time for Family

I have a habit of hating the phone. I called my older brother (easily my hero) a grand total of five times last year. We managed to talk twice. Those best-friends-more-like-sisters who live on opposite coasts? Tried to call one yesterday only to realize I lost her number when I got a new phone in April. It’s August. This doesn’t mean dedicating an hour a night to a different person, but maybe it means sending those cards I filled out or dropping a quick text. There is always time for texting.

Listen to my Body

If you know me, you know I tear myself apart. Right now, so is food. As in everything I eat immediately turns to terror in my stomach. And remember that marathon I’m training for? Let’s not talk about over training and fatigue. Running nauseated is going to happen when you’re running long distances in high heat, but it shouldn’t be a constant feeling. I need to listen to my body and give it rest when it needs it. I need to fuel it with things that don’t upset it (re: actually and for real cut out gluten and dairy. I know those are two huge culprits). Practice yoga. Meditate. Shower more regularly…

And finally (most importantly):

Slow Down

I’m too busy. What does busy mean? It means I fill up my day with tasks and leave little time for the things that bring me joy. I want to rediscover (re:find my joy, maybe?) my passion for things I used to find peace in. Be it photography, sewing, cooking, – creating in general – I’m going to make time for me. The better care I take of myself, the better care I can take of the ones who love me.

Any tips from the peanut gallery? What have you found helps you achieve your goals? Books? Meditation? Classes? Movies or music?